I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
