whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
How does it feel to date your dad?
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