in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Drake has all the answers
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
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