my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
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