i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
