Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I think my moral compass just broke
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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