I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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