watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
