he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
