Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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