Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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