Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
