Dual....:-)
Someone shit on the floor
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
