I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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