idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
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