Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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