I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
