i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
