Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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