She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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