i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
