Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Please don't give away my fajitas
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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