Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
