We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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