That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
