and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
