Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
