I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
