My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Randomize
