new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
