Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
