her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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