It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
