I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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