He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
so let's talk penis.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
