I'm really into asian looking animals
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you have to choose: penises or morals?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
