So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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