so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
