are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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