Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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