Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
