How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
