Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
