i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
