im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
