I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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