Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
