I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm like, not good at living.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Randomize
