Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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