So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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