Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
